Dear first lifeforms: thanks for inventing sex
someone better fucking be thinking about me right now
The Kool-aid man destroys the last remaining ancient wonder of the world to give a kid a sugary drink.
sometimes i look at people on my dash and i think
who the fuck are you
when did i follow you
you’re not posting things relative to my interests
but i can’t unfollow you becasue i can’t remember why i did
it might have been important
This is the most accurate post I have ever seen on here.
and then satan said “let there be a skip limit and no back button on 8tracks”
did you know that scientists did a recent study showing that if you take a blue whale a lay it out onto a basketball court, the game is immediately cancelled